


Selfishly

by eitHer9335



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Sara's POV, Sweet, Then Ava's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eitHer9335/pseuds/eitHer9335
Summary: Two brief scenes of Avalance, dealing with how Ava feels that Sara puts the team before her. Not exactly fluff, but it's sweet and has a happy ending.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 1
Kudos: 92





	Selfishly

**Author's Note:**

> So here I am, back at it again with short silly Avalance fics. I think I'm okay with it, though. I was working on something else longer (if I finish it, it will be my first ever multichapter fic, so yay me). But, this was easy and fun to write, so I figured I might as well put it out there first. I hope it entertains you during this interminable quarantine.

Sara watches, lips pressed together in silent concern, as Ava’s eyes well with tears. “And I’m not much of a clone, but hardly a person either,” she’s saying, looking up and blinking and swiping under her eyes with ungentle hands. “And every time it starts to get better, I start to move on, I wonder if it’s just because these memories are fake too, or if I’ve – I’ve been replaced – “ she trails off struggling to catch her breath. “I can’t know.”

Ava’s pain twists something inside Sara, and she reaches her arms out, not sure what she’s reaching for. “I love you, Ava,” she says, not sure what else to say, not sure what else matters.

Ava grabs her outstretched arms, her grip painfully tight, but doesn’t pull Sara closer. She blows out a shaky breath, closes her eyes as another pair of tears trickle onto her cheeks – and is startled into a watery laugh as Sara’s phone, on the table beside them, starts buzzing.

Sara glances over at it, then refocuses on her girlfriend. “Aves –“ she begins, but Ava is already releasing her arms and withdrawing to the other side of the couch.

“No worries,” she says, and her voice is quiet and plain. “It’s okay.”

Sara gazes at her for a moment, guilty, then grabs her phone and accepts the call. “Zari?”

“Sara!” Zari’s voice, usually so breezy and confident, is panicked. “So, um, Mick may just have been shot?”

Sara leaps to her feet, the couch under her protests. “The Encore was a middle-aged politician,” she grits out. “I really thought you guys could handle it.” There’s a slamming noise in the background of Zari’s end, and Sara sets her jaw. “And why is it you calling? I left Nate in charge!”

Zari’s gulp is audible. “Well, turns out this Huey guy came back with mind control powers,” she hedges. “And Nate and Behrad and Constantine may have gotten zapped, and may be hunting Charlie through New Orleans as we speak.”

“Leaving you in charge,” Sara grimly concludes. She pins the phone against her shoulder, freeing her hands to adjust the settings on her time courier. “I’m on my way. Hang tight, Zari.” She ends the call.

Ava is gazing at her from the couch, hair mussed and eyes red, sitting very still. “Babe –“ Sara begins. She hesitates.

“I know,” Ava says. “You need to go.”

The same thing inside Sara twists in the opposite direction, but its just as painful. “I love you, Ava,” she says again.

Ava drops her gaze. “I know,” she repeats. She grabs a tissue and starts wiping her face. “That’s why I don’t understand why the team matters more to you.”

Sara’s finger hovers over the button that will open the portal, and she hesitates as that statement sinks in. Ava had said it softly, even sweetly, but it bounces loudly around Sara’s head as an accusation.

“I – I don’t know,” she says. It’s the truth, and for now it will have to be enough.

~~

Ava wakes gently, a gradual awareness of the dim patterns of her bedroom, a quiet stretch into the open spaces in her bed. The sheets smell pleasantly of Sara, but they are cold under Ava’s searching hands, and decidedly empty.

She pushes her eyes open, worried. The outlines of Sara as she had been the night before waver in her mind’s eye, the sharp motions of her washing her hands, the tension in her body as she lies next to Ava, the stutter in her breath as Ava had held her and forbidden her from being alone. Ava had drifted into sleep easily enough, the edge taken off her own emotions by concern for Sara, and by what Zari had told her in the call.

Ava scans the room, and her eyes fall on Sara, sitting in the chair on the far side of the room, her face a pale smudge against the shadows, her hair shining dimly. She stares back at Ava, smiles slightly, and Ava hears in the back of her head Zari’s voice.

“Behrad was about to kill me,” Zari had said, words painted with a potent mix of emotions. “Sara stopped him, she saved me… Ava, she stabbed him.” Ava had pressed her lips tightly together, looking across the apartment at where Sara was washing dishes, shoulders squared and feet planted like she was ready for a fight. “I didn’t even want to be in the Medbay with him, the look on her face,” Zari had continued. “Gideon says he’ll be fine, but…”

“Yeah,” Ava had agreed quietly. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

So now, with Sara gazing at her from across the darkened room, Ava pushes herself up on one elbow to see her properly. “Sara?” she calls. “What’s up?”  
Sara shifts slightly, settles further into the chair. “I figured it out,” she says.  
Ava raises an eyebrow. “You were watching me sleep,” she counters.

It’s hard to tell, but it looks like Sara rolls her eyes. “I was thinking.”

“Still a little creepy.” Ava sighs and sits up, leaning against the headboard. “What did you figure out?”

“The answer to the question you asked earlier.” Sara picks something up, a piece of paper. “Why the team always comes first.”

Something sinks through Ava’s stomach. “Sara, I’m not mad about that anymore,” she says. “I wasn’t really mad to begin with, just… hurt. I never meant to make you choose between me and the team.” She squints at the figure of her girlfriend. “You know that, right?”

“I know, Ava.” Sara shrugs. “But it was a good question anyway. And I figured the answer out.”

Ava considers her for a moment, and chooses humor. “You really needed to write it down, huh?”

Again, the flash of a smile. “I’m not good with words. You know that.” There’s a slight crinkling noise as her fingers mess with a corner. “Can I tell you? Or do you want to go back to sleep?”

Ava smooths her fingers across the blankets. “Come sit with me,” she says. “I want to see you properly when you make your dramatic speech.”

The smile lasts a little longer this time, and Sara pushes herself up and pads over to the bed. She doesn’t get under the covers, though, just settles on top, the paper held where Ava can’t read it. She glances over, and Ava offers a reassuring smile.

“I love my team,” Sara begins. The paper is propped before her, but her eyes drift somewhere off to the side, out of focus. “I love them selflessly, and they are my first priority in everything.”

Ava shifts against the headboard, listening, and at the movement Sara’s eyes jump nervously back down. “That’s why they come first. Why, um, why it’s always.” She pauses, breathes. Her hair has fallen over her face, and Ava can’t help but reach out to tuck it behind her ear. Sara leans into her, her chin following Ava’s hand so that as she continues, she’s looking up. “You, Ava, I love you selfishly. I love you because you mean the world to me, and I can’t imagine living without you anymore. I love you because you make me better and stronger and happier, because my life is complete with you by my side.”

Sara’s eyes are a little red, Ava notices, but they are steady. “That’s why I don’t put you before the team,” she concludes. “I’d sacrifice anything for them. I’m not used to being selfish.”

Ava blinks rapidly, and the tears stay in her eyes. Sara’s gaze shifts, softer, and Ava knows she’s noticed. “I love you, Sara,” she says.

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite historical figure is Huey "The Kingfish" Long, because I really liked Robert Penn Warren's "All the King's Men," and because his moral ambiguity delights me. So I stuck him in as an Encore because I can.
> 
> Also, not to be that person, but comments are amazing.


End file.
